Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

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Exclamation Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Khala on Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:18 pm

I usually charge for things like this.The services i provide have brought many of people together..by "people" i mean woman and ME. Being the unselfish man that i am, i have decided to make a list for those that are..shall we say "less romantically inclined". This list is a culmination of many years of trial and error (no, there were no errors, but thought it would help if/when you inevitably fail. Trust me, these things WORK! Know them, USE them, LOVE them. Ladies Wink call me.

24 ways to win a girl's heart.
Here are some tips to those who are still single.
with these , you would have no problem getting the girl of your dreams !

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up. They aprreciate that you dont treat them like weaklings.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care. Woman love a man that cares.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement, and she will love you even more after she realizes that you have helped her grow.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for wussies and Asian ladies. If she asks you about it, lie, they are usually to dumb to figure out it was you, and if she does, tell her that you wanted to make her feel good so you set up the whole thing to make her feel smart. THis will show her how far you are willing to go for her love.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words '**** you,' and grab the other girl's butt. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can." this will make her realize what a powerful person she snagged, and woman love powerful men.

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold... but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, "If you don't stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear. She will love the fact that you knew this, and were willing to sacrafise your own personal feeling for her comfort.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party. This will obviously make her realize how much she loves you, and letting her show this is a very good way to getting some.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like playing video games. This will show her that you are not "clingy". Girls hate clingy guys that dont have other things in there life to do.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy. Crazy girls are easy to make fall in love. You did say you wanted a girl to love you, right?

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No, she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts... and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about. This way she knows your a "manly man" not some wuss that showers and cares what he looks like.

21. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

22. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny. And we all know that its important to have Humor in any relationship.

24. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny! (it said 24 ways, this one doesnt count Wink )

25. Tell her you were falling too hard to fast, so you screwed another woman, to slow the relationship down. (make sure to bang another woamn, woman dont like a guy that lies) She will appreciate that you didnt want to rush things faster than you thought she wanted. Also this shows that you were concerned about her feelings.

Well, there yah have it Wanna be Pimps. Now get out there and do some damage. ANd if at first you dont succeed, give her my phone number and go try again with her sister!

-Khala.


Last edited by Khala on Sun Aug 31, 2008 6:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by TheTruePredator on Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:26 pm

Jesus I knew I was doing something wrong thanks a bunch Khala
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Khala on Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:27 pm

No problem always here to help
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by kingofapples on Sun Aug 31, 2008 4:43 pm

wow, all my problems are solved, time to go test it out
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Flamur on Sun Aug 31, 2008 5:23 pm

Lmao, this really cracked me up.

10/10 Khala. I love you already.
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Squiddy on Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:03 pm

LOL stolen from Tribal Wars forums!!!!1111
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by KBoomer on Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:08 pm

Pfft. Amatuer.

You introduce her to your friends as "some chick"?

I say "Hi, this is my semi-regular hooker, you can bang her for 2.50 just drop her in the street when your done" then kick her in the shins.

Still, awesome stuff. I loved this one the most:
23. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just
whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this
one that much, but I think it's funny. And we all know that its
important to have Humor in any relationship.
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http://z4.invisionfree.com/Unconcerned/index.php?act=idx

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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Khala on Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:08 pm

Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out! Snotface


Squiddy-Troll...
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Khala on Sun Aug 31, 2008 7:57 pm

Khala
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by widdows9000 on Mon Sep 01, 2008 2:00 am

Before you joined the forums I thought you were an arsehole, now I realise you're a hilarious arsehole and I love people like that.

No.19 is just hilarious.
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by CheeseBall on Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:31 am

LOL AWESOME, 100% LMAO
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by Khala on Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:48 am

lol widdows thx.
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Exclamation Re: Having trouble with the ladies? let Khal help you out!

Post by shadow on Mon Sep 01, 2008 6:05 am

lol gonna try this out tonight.
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